|The next day I would interview the other two children who were living
the monastery. I wondered why I hadn't seen any of them playing or even
walking around the property since I arrived. There was no way for me to know
where they were staying or where they had their own classes, if that's what
they were called. It seemed that the veil of secrecy was drawn even there,
and I wondered why. Were they kept together or separate? Did they learn as a group or were their lessons conducted privately? These were some of the
questions that ran through my mind, and I wondered if I would ever find out
There was a knock on my door very early the next morning. When I answered
it one of the other brothers stood there and without saying a word, motioned
for me to follow. I quickly splashed some water on my face, and without so
much as brushing my teeth left the room and followed him down the hall and
down the stairs. It was only around 6:30 am, and I remembered hearing the
monks chanting their morning office while I was still half asleep. The sound
entered my dreams and I thought I was back at my own childhood church. As I
followed the monk away from the building and down a narrow path I began to
remember the details of my dream.
I was an altar boy and mass was about to begin. I was standing on the
altar looking around for the priest to start the mass, and then I realized
that the whole church was filled. The congregation sat there looking at me as
if I should know what to do. I looked in the sacristy and no one was there. I
came back out to the altar and still there was no priest. Finally a man stood
up and said: "Go ahead and begin without him." And so I did. In fact, I said
the whole mass on my own, including the consecration of the Blessed
Sacrament, while standing there wearing an altar boys outfit. And yet it
seemed so natural, as if I was supposed to be doing it. The people came to
communion and took the host from my hand. Then I washed the chalice and
opened the lectionary for the final prayer. That was when the knock on the
door came and the monk appeared, and next thing I knew I was marching through an open field with him.
"Where are we going?" I asked. He didn't seem to understand what I was
saying and shrugged his shoulders. Minutes later we came to a beautiful
outdoor altar surrounded by tall rose bushes. I could see Br. Matthias
standing there waiting for us, and there was someone with him. It was a young boy, probably the third child I was to interview. The boy looked to be about ten years old and closely resembled how I remembered Marco to look. He had short dark hair and deep eyes that seemed to look right through me as I approached. The monk led me to the altar where we stopped in front of Br.
"Good morning," he said, then nodded to the other brother who turned and
left. "You are probably wondering why I asked for you to be brought here
instead of the room where the other interviews were done. But before I answer those questions I want to introduce Thomas to you. He is another one of our children." He said something to Thomas and listened to the boy's answer. Then Br. Matthias laughed. "Thomas said that he feels like you look, like you both should have been left alone for more sleep."
"Yes, he is very perceptive," I said. "Tell Thomas that I am very happy
to meet him."
Br. Matthias did that then turned back to me. "This is a very special
place because it is where the first mass was said on this property. There was
once a chapel here but it was destroyed about a hundred years ago. It is a
very sacred place for us and the other monks, and I thought it would be a
good place to meet and talk to Thomas."
"Why?" I asked him.
"Because we have found that some of the children, Thomas in particular,
seem to do better outside. I think it has something to do with nature, being
away from artificial environments. Besides, I have kept you inside far too
much and it is such a beautiful morning. I thought it would be a nice
"Does Thomas have a special ability like the other children?" I asked him.
"Yes he does. Thomas is able to look through things, sometimes even
walls. I'm not sure if that is exactly what he is doing, but it is the best
explanation. He is able to see other places in his mind, or read things that
are written on pieces of paper then folded up and put in an envelope. If you
would like we can give him something now and he can hold on to it for awhile.
It sometimes takes a little while for him to see it. He will sometimes talk
to us and seem to forget about the paper, then out of the blue he knows."
Br. Matthias gave me a piece of paper, a pen and an envelope and told me
to walk over to where neither one of them could see me. I was then to draw a
simple picture on the paper, fold it up and seal it in the envelope. He would
normally have someone write a word, he said, but since I cannot write in
Bulgarian, and Thomas cannot speak English, he felt this would be the better
option. I did what he asked, drawing the picture of a house with a bright sun
over the roof. The sun had wavy rays of light coming from it, and the house
had only two windows, both on the second floor. I licked the envelope and
sealed it tight.
"Now give it to Thomas," Br. Matthias said.
I held it out to the boy and he immediately placed it under his arm pit.
"What is he doing?" I asked.
"That is just how he does it. He always places it there and believes it
works better that way. Maybe it does, or maybe it's all in his mind. I don't
know. But now we'll wait and see if he gets any strong impressions."
Thomas said something to Br. Matthias in Bulgarian, who then responded in
what felt like a surprised tone. Thomas seemed to want him to ask me
something, but Br. Matthias didn't seem to want to.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked.
""No, there is nothing wrong," Matthias said to me. "Thomas keeps saying
that he wants you to celebrate mass (ob) at this altar, but I told him you are not
a priest, but he is insisting...I don't know why."
"He wants me to celebrate mass?" I asked, but by then Thomas was saying
something else and Matthias listened.
"He said that the altar boy outfit was only a symbol," Matthias related
to me. "I don't understand, but he said that it is about the child within
you, the part of you that knows how to use the Gift." Matthias listened
again. "He also says that you celebrating mass is about the communion you
need to experience with the Gift within you. Only then will you be able to
help them, help the children fulfill their mission."
"This is amazing," I said to him.
"As I said, I do not understand myself, so maybe you can tell me what you
think it means."
I told Matthias about the dream I had which was interrupted by the monk
knocking on the door. Thomas had interpreted every detail.
"Will you ask him why the priest wasn't there?" I asked Matthias. "I
somehow feel that this is an important element."
Matthias asked Thomas this question in Bulgarian, then listened to the
answer. When Thomas spoke his eyes darted back and forth as if he was looking inside his brain for the answer. He was also shifting his weight back and forth, something he didn't do normally, only when he was accessing whatever data he required.
"He says that it is time for you to let go of the church of your childhood," Matthias said. "It cannot serve you where you are now, except in new ways. He said that you are trying to hold on to the old patterns and use them to help you do new things. It won't work. Don't wait for anyone, just stand up and say what you need to say, and the people will be fed."
"How does he know this?" I asked.
"How do any of them know these things? That's why they are here, to learn
how to use the Gift responsibly. If Thomas really has accessed your dream
then it's the first time. I have never seen him do this before, but it really
doesn't surprise me. They are constantly developing new skills, partly
because they are around each other. Their power seems to increase when they
are around other children like themselves, like osmosis."
Once again, I will relate the rest of the conversation with Thomas as if
we had it without an interpreter. We sat down on a bench in front of the
altar and the conversation began.
"Thomas, have you ever seen what a person dreamt before?" I asked him.
"Maybe once or twice, but I've never told them before."
"So, why did you tell me?"
"Because you asked me too. When you were walking toward us I could feel
you asking me about the dream, wondering what it meant. I saw what it was and decided to tell you."
"But I don't remember asking you anything," I said.
"It was the thought beneath your thought. You may not have known you were
asking, but you were. I heard it like an echo, and I knew what it meant. I've
been hearing echoes like that for a little while now. At first all I heard
was the main thought. But then I heard the next level, and sometimes even a
third, the thought beneath the thought beneath the thought. No one is ever
aware of those, but they are still there."
"Do you try to read thoughts, or does it happen by itself," I asked him.
Thomas thought for a moment, then said: "I think it's both. Sometimes I
hear something, and then I can't help but listen deeper. It's almost like I
can't help it, and it probably isn't such a good thing. Brother Mathias says
that we should always ask permission so that we don't intrude."
"Thomas, a few minutes ago you said that I had to experience a communion
with the Gift if I'm to help the children complete their mission. First of
all, will you tell me what you think the children's mission is?"
"I don't really know how to say it, but it has to do with asking our
question. Everyone needs to hear the question, and that is why more and more children are coming who have the Gift. But maybe you need to tell people that we're here, then it will make it easier for them to understand. That's why Marco found you, to being you here."
Once again, I saw that look in Matthias' eye that told Thomas not to talk
about Marco. If I wasn't so intrigued by the children and where they lived I
would have chosen to be suspicious, but I decided to wait until the right
time to question him.
"I'm sorry," Matthias said, "but I only want the children to speak about
their own experiences, not someone else's. I told you that I would answer all
your questions about Marco, and I will. Please, continue the conversation."
"Thomas, why do you want me to help you ask your question?" I said.
"I don't know...I'm not the one who picked you...someone else did."
"I don't know, but maybe."
I could see that I wasn't going to get much further if I continued to
question him about Marco, so I changed the subject."
"Do you want me to write a book about the Children of Oz?" I asked. "If
that's what you want I could do it very easily. I think that people want to
hear this message, and they will want to know about you as well."
"A book?" he said as his eyes widened. "You could write a book about us?
That would be great. What would you say?"
"I would write about my experiences with you and the other children, and
I would write about the question you are here to ask the world. I think that
many people would be interested in a book like that."
He jumped off the bench and the envelope fell out from beneath his arm.
He picked it up and handed it back to me.
"It's a house with a sun above it," he said in a matter of fact tone.
Then he became excited again and said: "Would I be in the book...would you
tell them about how I saw your dream?"
"Yes, if you would like me to."
"I do want you to...that would be fantastic."
"Thomas, how long did you know what was written on the paper?" I asked.
He looked away, then at Br. Matthias as if what he said might get him in
"I knew before you handed it to me," he said. "I didn't want to tell you
too fast. I can't always do it that well, but with you it was easy."
"Why is that?"
"Because you have the Gift like the other children."
"Are you able to read the other children's thoughts like you read mine?"
"It isn't really like that," he said. "When you and I talk with our mouths we don't make it seem like a big deal, and when we talk to each other
in our minds we don't thinks its much either. It's easy for us...it's just
what we do when we're together."
"How often are you with the other children?" I asked him.
"Do you mean physically?" he said.
"I don't know...quite a bit, I guess. Everyday usually. But when we're
not together physically, that doesn't mean we're not together. I can always
feel them. I can feel all the children around the world who are like me."
"I've been told that before," I said to him. "What does that feel like?"
"What do you mean?"
"Does it feel strange to you to feel so any children in your mind?"
He laughed out loud. "No, it doesn't feel strange at all. You should be
able to do it too if you have the Gift. Can't you feel their thoughts inside
your head? Aren't you aware of everyone else?"
"No, I can't do that," I said.
"Well, you will be able to. Pretty soon everyone will be doing that. It's
just where we're going. That's what's right around the corner."
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|| Thomas' Message | Ivan's Message ||
Later that same afternoon Br. Matthias came to my room.
Excerpts from Emissary of Love